By Allison Johnson
Life Coach and Bipolar Disorder Expert

I stared at my husband purposefully across the kitchen. Our conversation had intensified as we discussed our shared desire for relocation to the Pacific Northwest, but the frustration we felt was becoming a distraction. Every time the subject of our moving came up we hit a wall. There was always something in the way, keeping us here in San Antonio. It was maddening to be honest, and I was starting to resign myself to the idea that we weren’t going to move, ever.

Looking at him across the tiled counter top I struggled for words, searching for some kind of positive idea that would keep our hopes alive. Somewhere inside my clouded thinking I heard the words of my life coach cut through my clouds like sunlight after a storm. “How do you want to be?”
           
My coaches’ voice echoed in my mind as I listened to my husband’s final thoughts on why we were stuck and how impossible it would be for us to move. Shoving my feelings of frustration aside I waited for him to finish and then responded with that magical question, “Grant how do you want to be?”
           
He blinked at me and then replied, “I’m not sure I know what you mean?”

Well, I can certainly relate to that. The first time I tried to answer this question I was completely flummoxed. In fact, when I face my own daily challenges usually the first thing I ask God is, “What am I supposed to do?” Not, “How do I want to be?”
I shot him a knowing smile, excited about the shift in conversation I knew was about to come and said, “Honey, I think we both want a completely different way of being.”

I could see the wheels turning in his head as he digested the statement I had just made. What did it really mean to have a new way of being and how did we get there? I knew what it meant to me and was only trying to help as I shared my unsolicited thoughts about the potential for him to discover his way of being. I felt a sense of urgency to convince him, to help navigate him to a positive agreeable outcome. And then I stopped.
What was I thinking? I was directing not coaching, and limiting any progress we might have made. I had to take a step back and trust God to move in this situation. I was in the way.

In that moment of discovery I was able to recognize my prideful, limited way of thinking and began processing how my new way of being could partner with my own unique design.  Guess what? My mind set changed. Instead of beating myself up for getting in God’s way, I realized that this revelation was part of my new way of being. I was filled with new confidence as I recognized God showing me my potential and the changes He had in mind.
           
Now, I ask my clients what they believe about their potential and how they see God working within them. I ask them how they can move the giant boulder blocking their path by challenging how they see themselves and what God sees instead. This is a powerful way to remind them of their unique design and empowers them to move out of a closed mind set into a more empowered way of being.

Standing on Your Values    
Coaching is the most authentic way for me to partner with others along their own unique journey of life. Knowing what I believe and not compromising my beliefs allows me to coach with freedom, inviting my clients to discover their own set of unique values as part of their own God-given design.
             
Values are the foundation upon which our lives our built. Part of my way of being is to stand firmly upon these values, allowing God to show me what is exclusively mine and then, I hold only these things as truth. Who I will be, as a coach and beyond, is founded on my values.

Getting There           
It’s taken some time but now I love the idea that I can indeed consider my “way of being” instead of my “way of doing.” I don’t have to stay the same just because that’s how I’ve always been. Isn’t that why people come to coaching? Now I understand that just because my circumstances call for certain reactions, I don’t have to give in to them. I can choose instead to think, consider my options and decide how I want to be. If action steps need to be taken, I figure out how I want to be first and then move towards action. I am much more empowered, more peaceful and a coach transformed.
           
As for the conversation with my husband about moving, we haven’t started looking for houses yet but we are still talking and practicing our new way of being. Yes, I’m still finding myself challenged daily in breaking the old pattern of “What am I supposed to do?” but it’s a process, one that takes effort and faith.  I’m excited to say that transformation has already begun. I believe as we endeavor to see through this new lens, God will meet us here and maybe we will discover it wasn’t about doing anything at all. Maybe it was about believing, trusting and just being.  

Learn More about Allison and her ministry:

Email: ally@resurrectedgirl.com

Website: www.resurrectedgirl.com

Blogs: www.wakingupinthemiddleofnowhere.blogspot.com and www.resurrectedgirl.blogspot.com